THE CANARY ISLANDS

The Canary Islands, as listed

In geographical catalogues

Are not named after the birds

And are really the Isles of Dogs

MARRIAGE DATE NIGHT

 

When he got home one night,

His wife began to shout

That she wasn’t cooking dinner

And demanded he take her out

But to somewhere expensive

So, he agreed after some hesitation

And she repeated it had to be expensive

So, he took her to a petrol station

A LITTLE GIRL’S WARNING

 

A little girl watched her dad dress for a party.

And then she gave her dad a warning

“Daddy, you shouldn't wear that dinner suit”

He asked, “why not?” his curiosity dawning

“Because you know that it always gives

You a bad headache the next morning”

I WAS SCARRED DURING MY FIRST TIME

 

I was scarred during my first time

And made me think I was still a virgin

I thought I was doing fine until she said

Those three dreaded words, “Is it in?”

THERE WAS A FIGHT AT THE CIRCUS

 

There was a fight at the circus

Between a clown and a mugger

The fight didn’t last for long

Once they went for the juggler

THE ANTELOPE AND THE GAZELLE

 

I dreamed one night that an Antelope,

Loved a Gazelle and planned to elope

But at the moment they expected least

A jealous Wildebeest crashed the feast

ARE YOU WEARING A SQUINT?

 Are you wearing a squint?

That’ll be because of the fine print.

I wouldn’t bother reading every bit

There's no way you're going to like it