I TRIED MY HAND AT FORTUNE TELLING

 

I tried my hand at fortune telling

Using an old snow globe

And I became very good at predicting

Really cold winters

A FIDDLER ON THE ROOF

 

I was Masturbating up on the roof

But unfortunately, I was seen

My boss gave me a second chance

So effectively wiped the slate clean

DRY JANUARY

 

A month without alcohol

Isn’t what makes January dry

What does, is sex without foreplay

Or indeed the use of KY

MY FATHER HAS SUFFERED

 

My father has suffered

A long series of seizures recently

So far, he’s lost his cars, house,

Yacht and a Villa on Capri

ALL-TIME CLASSIC MOVIE FAVOURITES – TO HAVE AND HAVE NOT (1944)

 

To Have and Have Not is based on Ernest Hemingway’s novel and directed by Howard Hawks and tells the story of Harry Morgan (Humphrey Bogart) and his alcoholic sidekick, Eddie (Walter Brennan), who operate a boat for hire based on the island of Martinique During World War II.

However, because the war is going on all around them business is not what it could be and after a customer who owes them a large sum of money fails to pay up they are forced against their better judgment to violate their preferred neutrality and to take a job transporting a French Resistance leader, Paul de Bursac (Walter Szurovy) a fugitive on the run from the Nazis to Martinique along with his wife Hellene (Dolores Moran).

His life is further complicated by the presence of Marie "Slim" Browning (Lauren Bacall), a sassy singer in the club where Morgan spends most of his days where pianist Cricket (Hoagy Carmichael) normally provides the entertainment.

The enjoyable screen adaption of Hemingway's Novel is a classic stands the test of time in its own right but it also enjoys its place in cinematic history because it is the first screen teaming of Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall.

THE WISDOM OF MY MIDDLE YEARS # 3

 

The greater a person's sense of guilt,

It seems to me

The greater their need to cast blame on others

Indiscriminately

I DON’T LIKE TO SPEAK ILL

 

I don’t like to speak ill

However, without being rude

I have to say you can't trust

A dog to watch your food