BUYING POWER

 

There are some who say

Money can’t buy everything

Of course, there are others

Who just resort to shoplifting

WHENEVER I DECIDE TO EAT HEALTHILY

 

Whenever I decide to eat healthily,

In order to fit into my knickers,

I suddenly see a chocolate bar

Which then looks at me and snickers

I WAS TIED UP IN THE DAIRY

 

I was tied up in the dairy

By a milkmaid

Just the other day

Which was where

She inflicted on me

Fifty shades of Whey

GLASS NOT HALF FULL

 

I have to say I’m not

A “glass half full”

Type of person

I’m more of a

“Where did I put my glass”

Kind of person

I WAS TOLD I NEEDED A BRAIN TRANSPLANT

 

I was told I needed a brain transplant,

But I didn’t want anything of that kind

But the Doctors kept going on at me

So eventually they changed my mind

THE SAND WAS WET

The sand was wet

Very wet indeed

And that was because

The seaweed

  

HOGWARTS ISN’T A PERFECT SCHOOL # 2

 

Hogwarts isn’t a perfect school

But there are Heroes by the score

They eagerly arrive aged eleven

And get in through the Gryffindor