YOU’LL NEVER GUESS I BET

You’ll never guess I bet

What it is that you get

If you cross the Atlantic

With the RMS Titanic?

Do you give in? Can I say?

Ok then “About halfway”

I’M THINKING ABOUT TAKING A HOLIDAY # 2

 

I’m thinking about taking a holiday

But I don’t know where to go

I would like to go to Conclusions

But you have to jump there, so

As I can’t do much physical activity

I would have to reluctantly say no

ARE YOU WEARING PYJAMAS?

 

Are you wearing pyjamas?

And they’re Flannelette no less

I’m sure they are very comfy

But I was hoping for a nightdress

Or preferably as it is our

Wedding night, considerably less

I WENT TO THE MOVIES LAST NIGHT

I went to the movies last night

And watched a really good thriller

About a man poisoning the Cornflakes

Who turned out to be a cereal killer

MUM KNITTED ME A JUMPER

 

Mum knitted me a jumper

I hate wearing I as I look silly

But I’m a kid so I have to

Especially when mum feels chilly

PUT DOWN # 49

 

Put downs work the best

For deflecting unwanted attention

But try to be amusing

As this relieves the tension

Allow me to give you an example

By way of a demonstration

 

When I was in a club one night

It must have been nearly half past two

A woman said to me “If you lost weight,

Shaved and cut your hair you would do

I replied “yes but if I did all that,

I’d be talking to your mates instead of you”

SAME SEX MARRIAGE

 

There’s a lot of discussion at the moment

About “same sex marriage”

Well having been married for thirty years

I’d like a “some sex marriage”