SCOTTISH INDEPENDENCE # 1

 

As a proud Briton

I will be disappointed

If Scotland chose to go

 

As an Englishman

I’ll be disappointed

If they vote no

LIFE IS TOO SHORT

Life is too short to wake up

In the morning with regret,

So, I think not waking up until

After lunch is the safest bet

THE ONLY DIFFERENCE

The only difference between

A guard dog and mummy 

Is that the guard dog will

Let go of you eventually

KEYBOARDS

 

In the 1970’s I was big into

Keyboards and synthesizers

I like Wakeman, and Emerson

In fact, I was a moog sympathizer

HAVE YOU EVER HAD?

 

Have you ever had?

The kind of day

That almost drove you insane

 

When you wish

You’d done it differently

But your wishing is in vain

 

If only we could press

“Ctrl Alt Delete”

And start the day again

WHEN I TOLD MUM

 

When I told mum

I had opened a theatre

I got a rather strange

Reaction from her

“Are you having me on?”

She said to me

I said “you'll have to audition

And then we’ll see”

A FRUITFUL RELATIONSHIP

 

When I first dated my wife

Long ago in another life

I would get aroused watching her

Eating a banana

Now, thirty years later

It’s quite a different matter 

I only get exited watching her

If she chokes on the banana