Friday, 16 April 2021

ON THE WAY TO MAYBURY HILL

 

As a young man H.G. Wells had spent an unhappy time living with an aunt in Horsell which was then close to Woking and is now part of the overall sprawl..

So, when he wrote his great science fiction novel, The War of the Worlds, he had the Martians land on Horsell common, in sight of where Wells had once lived.

This enabled him to have that area of Woking become the first to fall victim to the terrifying invaders weaponry.

In the novel the hero of the tale, having witnessed the first meteor fall to earth, was pursued by the merciless tripods from the common and along Maybury hill.

Were the invaders to land today they would have to negotiate a huge six-way roundabout, dissect a one-way system, a no left turn, a no right turn, two traffic light junctions, three pelican crossings and two quite appallingly designed mini roundabouts.

I think faced with the product of 21st century traffic management and in particular Woking Borough Councils ill-judged town planning, that the Martians would have given up and returned home long before they were exposed to the pathogenic bacteria that eventually saw them off.

The world saved by the ineptitude of local government, what Irony.   

WHATS IN A NAME (10)

 

Does anyone watch Winston Groom?

Did anyone else watch Clair Bloom?

Does anyone think is Mark Bright?

Does anyone know is Ian Wright?

AMAZING ANAGRAMS # 4

Anagrams can amuse like these that I am fond

If at first you don't succeed, try deft, if cautious, second

Circumstantial evidence can ruin a selected victim

Slot Machines Cash lost in 'em 

The Earth’s quake That Queer Shake

Eleven plus two Twelve plus one

The Morse code Here Dots Come

Semolina Is No Meal 

It has got three angles Gosh, see that triangle

Paternal Parental

Lactoprotein Protectional

DOWN TO EARTH

 

My blonde girlfriends

Are really such fools

They think Ertha Kitt

Is a set of garden tools

IT HAS EMERGED

 

I was told that Motorola

Is going to merge with Enron

They will form a new company

Which they plan to call moron

LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE # 12

 

There is a natural law of perversity

You cannot, no matter the necessity

Successfully determine beforehand or ahead

Which side of the bread to buttered or spread

FOREIGN JOHNNY’S # 2

 

Without a doubt not being

A foreigner is for the best

As I don’t have to eat snails

Snakes or even bird nests