SUMMER OF EIGHTY EIGHT

 

The summer of eighty-eight

What a holiday it was

Me, tottering Bob and Metaxa Mary

On the Greek island of Andros

In the chain of islands

Known as the Cyclades

We would sit on the beach

Or some beach front café

Like the medusa or the koala

Watching the semi naked femmes

And not just that but fit too

Apart from Mary

She was more interested in the Geraniums

Which grew seven feet high

We enjoyed the Greek cuisine

Such as it was

Stuffed vine leaves, Calamari

And Mousakka mainly

Not forgetting

Greek salad and Feta cheese

Washed down with cheap booze

And plenty of it

Everything was cheap on the island

Not just cheap fags and booze

An old man called Stavros

His skin the color of leather

Hand made me a pair of sandals

For under five pounds

Our favorite haunt was the medusa

Owned and run by Pandelis

And his accommodating daughter Cath

Although we had a brandy or two

At the Paradise bar most nights

Just as a night cap

But it wasn’t the location, Or cheap booze

The herb fragranced breeze

Warm sunshine, Semi naked women

Or accommodating waitresses

That made it a great holiday

It was the people

The warm friendly locals

Fellow Brits on tour

And of course, Bob and Mary

What a holiday it was

FOREIGN JOHNNY’S # 1

 

The great thing about

Not being a foreign Johnny

Is when on trains and buses?

Rug sellers do not approach me

Nor do half the passengers

Ride on the top for free

SLIDING OUT OF CHILDHOOD

The first sign of childhood ending

That you can remember so far

When you are too tall to be allowed

On the slide at the burger bar

LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE # 11

 

When things go wrong

There are always faults numbering two

The second of which

Will only become apparent to you

After you have rectified

The first of the two

FUN IN THE SUN

 

Why do 18-30 girls have more fun?

While they’re on the coast of the sun

They don’t do things by the letter

Because they don't know any better

WELL FAX ME

You know when you’re contacted

By a blonde of the fairer sex

You find that they put a stamp on

When they send you a fax

CREATURES OF GREEK MYTHOLOGY – GERYON

 

Geryon was a triple-bodied giant who dwelt in the land of Erytheia at the ends of the earth

As one of his labors Heracles who was sent to fetch Geryon's herds of cattle of great worth

His parents were the powerful-minded Khrysaor and Kallirhoe daughter of glorious Okeanos

While he guarded his fabulous cattle herds Geryon was accompanied by the hound Orthrus

With a single blow from his mighty club Heracles dispatched Orthrus the two-headed hound

And then with one poisoned arrow the giant three bodied Geryon fell dead to the ground.