SUPER VOLCANO

 

My wife and I sat down one Sunday night to watch, what we thought was a nice little medical drama on the BBC about a Super Eruption which we quite innocently believed to be about an epidemic of teenage acne.

Well, I can tell you that what we saw, and I not ashamed to say this, frightened the life out of us.

I haven’t seen my present wife that distressed since her latex glove split while she was worming the dog.

When I consulted the Radio Times to make sure we had been watching the right channel I noticed a BBC documentary, directly following the program on BBC2, on the very subject of the drama we had just watched. .

I knew we could rely on the BBC to put the true story and allay all our fears.

Now as a result of the documentary my wife has taken a handful of Valium and I’m writing this from the cupboard under the stairs we were not at all reassured and it seems fact is worse than fiction.

SMOKELESS ZONE

 

You're never quite sure

If it's against the law

To have a bonfire anymore

LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE # 8

 

There is a corollary of lambast

Which should be printed in a book

Whenever an item is sought

It’s always in the last place you look

BLOODY FOREIGNERS # 2

 

I have found many reasons

Not to be foreign as yet

Such as not having to marry

A girl I have never met

ILLUMINATING LOVE MAKING

An 18-30 girl turns the light on

After a seeing too

By kicking open the car door

With a white shoe

CREATURES OF GREEK MYTHOLOGY – THE CERYNITIAN HIND

 

The Cerynitian hinds were five golden-horned immortal deer

Sacred to the goddess Artemis whose golden horns shone clear

Larger than bulls four of them pulled Artemis in her chariot

Hera helped the fifth one to escape as part of a devious plot

And it crossed the river Kelodon into the mountains of arcadia

Heracles was tasked as a labor to capture the golden hind later

And without shedding a drop of its blood Heracles did this 

Afterwards he set the hind free to placate the goddess Artemis

WHATS IN A NAME (19)

 

Does anyone think will Tessa Peake?

Does anyone know is Michelle Meek?

Did anyone think will Peggy Mount?

Does anyone know could Dracula Count?