EARTHLINGS

 

The origins of the name

"Earth worms" is hard to trace

Unless of course some people

Thought they were from outer space

THE MAYORESS UNVEILED

 

The Mayoress unveiled a large bust

At the civic centre

When her blouse was accidentally

Torn open by a Councillor

ARE YOU WEARING A LACE UP CORSET?

 

Are you wearing a lace up corset?

All whale bone and string

Oh, Wow it looks really sexy

But how do I get into the thing?

HERO’S OF GREEK MYTHOLOGY – MELEAGER

Meleager was the Son of King Oeneus of Calydon and Althea

Seven days after his birth the Fates appeared foretelling his future

Clotho and Lachesis predicted he would be both noble and brave

However, the prediction of the fate Atropos was a little more grave

He warned he would die as soon as a stick in the fire burned away

So, Althea pulled the stick from the fire, put it out, and hid it away

While he was still a young man, he became regarded as second only

To the mighty Heracles in his speed strength skill and overall ability

He was the youngest to sail with Jason’s Argonauts and subsequently

He went on to kill King Aeetes of Colchis the Argonauts chief enemy

He returned from his time with the Argonauts and married Cleopatra

And they lived happily in Calydon and they had a daughter Polydora

His domestic tranquillity was brought to a tragic and abrupt end

When Artemis unleashed the fearsome giant boar in his homeland

Meleager naturally took a leading role in the hunt from the start

The Calydonian Boar Hunt ended with his spear in the beast’s heart

As Atalanta had drawn first blood Meleager awarded her the hide

Awarding the prize to a woman injured the some of the party’s pride

His uncles felt that his generous action had made them look small

A quarrel broke out between them and Meleager then killed them all

Althea, on hearing of her brother’s death’s by her own son’s hands

She was so distraught at the news that some instant revenge she plans

Remembering the words of Atropos about the stick on the fates visit

Althea took the stick from its place of safety and then she burned it

As predicted Meleager died and then in remorse took her own life

This is followed by the suicide from grief of Cleopatra his wife

Are you wearing a strapless bra?

 

Are you wearing a strapless bra?

With tits the shape of yours

You’d have done better

Tucking then into your drawers

DOG OR CUR

If you find a dead lawyer in the road

With a dead dog

You will find skid marks leading

Towards the dog

JACK AND THE WIFE

A happy marriage is

A matter of giving and taking

One gives and the other takes

And no mistaking