BABY CARE UNIT

 

I just heard about an incident

That is reportedly true

Concerning a hospital

That has caused a to do

About the baby’s face

Somebody taped a dummy to

Well, I have kids myself

And I would, wouldn’t you?

DON’T KEEP THINGS BOTTLED UP

Don’t keep things bottled up

If life is getting you down

Pour yourself a large one

And drink away your frown

COMPUTER SPOUSE

 

My husband is like

A computer unfortunately

He’s out of date

And hasn’t got enough memory

SOUNDS LIKE

 

What I think is quite ironic

Is that the word phonetic?

Why on consistency grounds?

Isn’t it spelt the way it sounds?

CLOSE SHAVE

 

Why is it when?

Two planes almost hit

It’s called a near miss?

That doesn’t fit

It should actually

Be called a near hit?

HAPPY AS A PIG

I don’t wish to appear a prig

But never wrestle with a pig

Don’t even do it for a bet

This you should not forget

You’ll both be covered in shit

And the pig really likes it

MANY A MICKLE

Life can be a struggle day by day

Scrimping and saving pennies away

By the time you can make ends meet

They move the ends just out of reach