DAIRY FAIRY

 

I heard in the village shop today

That our milkman Malcolm is gay

No one apparently seemed to mind

And he’s never left an empty behind

WHERE’S THE BLOODY TORCH

 

“Where’s the bloody Torch?”

My wife asked angrily

“I don’t know where it is

Perhaps you could enlighten me”

“Well not without the Torch”

I replied curtly

DO YOU WANT BABY SPINACH

“Do you want Baby Spinach?

Or Water Cress Dad”

My daughter asked me

And I went completely mad

“For God’s sake just choose one

It’s not Rocket Salad”

IT’S NOT THE ANGLE OF DANGLE

 

It’s not the angle of dangle

That’s the measure of pleasure

It’s the moments in the afterglow

That we ultimately treasure

MY GIRLFRIEND SAYS SHE’S WORKING CLASS

 

My girlfriend says she’s working class

And I just have to laugh

As not one of them as far as I can see

Has ever worked in her family

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 287

 

There was a crow sat on a stone

And there he sat and ate his scone

When it was gone, when there was none

He sat and ate his Chelsea bun

SEEMS THAT PORNOGRAPHY

 

It seems that pornography

Is frowned upon

But I think that’s just all

The concentration