FAMILY PLANNING

One day a man asked his doctor at his surgery

"I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."

"Have you discussed it with your family?"

"Yes, and they're in favour fifteen to three."

GOLDILOCKS

 

A Blondes favourite nursery rhyme?

At first the question stumped me

But after careful consideration

It has to be Humpme Dumpme

DON’T BE A FOOL

 

Never ever argue with an idiot

Not even in your own defense

They drag you down to their level

Then beat you with experience

KEEP SMILING

 

If you can smile when things go wrong,

Whistle a happy tune or sing a little song

Then you obviously have in mind a name

Of the unfortunate soul you intend to blame

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER

 

She's always turns up late

It’s seems to be a family trait

When her ancestors arrived 

They somehow contrived

Arriving at Plymouth Rock

Late to everyone’s shock

I think that the tardy shower

Sailed on the June flower

DOG TRICK

 

The art of Diplomacy

Is really just the trick

Of saying "nice doggy"

Until you find a big stick

COCK SURE

 

Why across the road

Did the cockerel strut

Because he was told

The chicken was a slut