SAY IT AINT SO

“What is the chemical formula for water?”
The science teacher said to young Joe
Joe confidently stood up and replied
H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O,
“That’s not even close” the teacher shouted
Joe said “Last week you said it was H to O”

IT’S POSITIVELY WRONG

Discrimination is abhorrent
To everyone in this nation
So why is it common practice?
To have positive discrimination

Two wrongs don’t make a right
Was something I learned as a lad
Discrimination is wrong
There is no good and bad

Discriminating positively
Is in no way the right answer
After all it’s like suggesting
There is good and bad cancer

DEFEND IT TO THE DEATH

Liberals believe in freedom of speech
They support it on pain of death
And they will defend this principle
With their final dying breath

It’s the corner stone of liberalism
It’s the doctrine that they teach
However it most definitely helps
If you sing from their hymn sheet

RIP OFF BRITAIN

What mugs we all are in the UK
With the amount of tax we have to pay
We’re taxed on what we earn at work
We’re taxed on every little perk
Then when we spend our pay
They take some purchase tax away
Very little is exempt from VAT
It’s even on a cup of tea
Even coffee and juices fruity
If you smoke you pay tobacco duty
Then the unkindest tax of all
Duty on every form of alcohol
If you can afford a new car today
There is an even greater price to pay
With seventeen and a half percent more owed
Then you’re taxed to keep it on the road
And you pay Tax on your fuel at the garage
Then in the city there’s the congestion charge
Then there’s a new tax to be faced
Parking the car at your workplace
You’re taxed for the policeman on the beat
And for the lighting in the street
Then Airport taxes for our holidays
We’re even taxed for what we throw away
If we buy or sell a house today
There’s not one tax but a whole array
We’re even taxed on the money we save
We’re taxed from the cradle to the grave

CRADLE TO THE GRAVE

I’m taxed on what I earn
By the government knave
I’m taxed on what I spend
I’m taxed on what I save
And every penny in between
I’m taxed from cradle to the grave

HE BELIEVES IN YOU

Humanists and atheists
Refute God’s existence
But in all honesty
They mount a futile resistance
Because for all their vehement
Creation of fuss
The great lord God
Believes in them as well as us

BUTTERFLY GIRL

We stood on a hill top high
With the golden sun up in the sky
We bathed in each others company
And the time passed idly by

Below us stood the village mill
Wheel turned by the silver water
While on the hill a young man stood
Kissing the Miller’s daughter

And as we stood upon that hill
Beneath that glorious summer sun
My heart was lost to her forever
But for the girl it was only fun

So there would be no love affair
No reciprocation of desire
She was just a pretty butterfly
Flitting from flower to flower