THE PLURAL OF BOX

 

So, if it is correct that

The plural of box is boxes

Then why is the plural of ox

Oxen and not Oxes

IF THE MASCULINE PRONOUNS

 

If the masculine pronouns

Are he, his and him

Why then is it the feminine

Are not she, shis and shim

CLERGYMEN CAN BE DEFROCKED # 1

If clergymen can be defrocked

And lawyers be disbarred

Then that must mean that

Tree surgeons can be debarked

I HAVE ALWAYS BELIEVED

 

I have always believed

That it’s quite absurd

That “abbreviation”

Is such a long word

I HATE PEOPLE WHO USE BIG WORDS

 

I hate people who use big words

I think it’s pretentious

And they only do it to make

Themselves look perspicacious

MY YOUNG SON JUSTIN WAS KNOCKED OUT

 

My young son Justin was knocked out

Of the latest school’s spelling bee bout

Armageddon was the word that did it

But hey it’s not the end of the world is it

SWALK IS AN ACRONYM FOR

 

SWALK is an acronym for

“Sealed with a loving kiss”

Used when writing letters

To loved ones, we miss

WINKS IS AN ACRONYM

 

WINKS is an acronym for

"Women with Incomes and

No Kids" plenty of money

But no ring on their hand

DINKY IS AN ACRONYM

 

DINKY is an acronym for

“Double income no kits yet”

And Dinky’s are really as

Smug as it’s possible to get

NIMBY IS AN ACRONYM

 

NIMBY is an acronym for

“Not In My Back Yard”

If you want to find a Nimby

It really isn’t very hard

BANANA IS AN ACRONYM

 

BANANA is an acronym for

"Build Absolutely Nothing

Anywhere Near Anybody"

That’s real forward thinking

ADIDAS IS AN ACRONYM

 

ADIDAS is an acronym for

"All day I dream about sex"

And by the time I get to bed

I’m suffering from the effects

WASP IS AN ACRONYM

 

WASP is an acronym for

"White Anglo-Saxon Protestant"

The target demographic for UKIP

And Nigel Farage has their scent

BOOF IS AN ACRONYM

 

BOOF is an acronym

For "burned out old fart"

I hope that doesn’t refer to me

I’ll tell you that for a start

CRAFT IS AN ACRONYM

CRAFT is an acronym for

“Can’t remember a fucking thing”

And it’s an Acronym for

“Can’t remember a fucking thing”

THE DEFINITION OF OXYMORON

 

The definition of oxymoron

Well, that should be a breeze

I’ll give you a clue, it’s not

A person too stupid to breathe

DILF IS AN ACRONYM

DILF is an acronym for

“Dad I’d like to fuck”

I got one that says

“Who’s the daddy”, just my luck 

MILF IS AN ACRONYM

 

MILF is an acronym for

“Mum I’d like to fuck”

But I’d end up with a Mother

Superior knowing my luck

YOLO IS AN ACRONYM

 

YOLO is an acronym for

“You only live once” which is nice

Unless of course you’re James Bond

Then “you only live twice”

LIFE’S VEXATIONS # 3

 

Is there anything more annoying? As when

You want to use a word but can’t spell it

And fail to look it up in the dictionary

Because you don't know how to spell it