THE AMAZON BASIN

 

I was surprised to find

My wife was interested

In the Amazon Basin

But it turned out to be a fad

As she became disinterested

When it arrived broken

THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK

 

My sister and I were at the mall 

not really doing much at all

Window shopping round about

Nothing really just hanging out

We were looking at young men’s butts

By a stand selling sweets and nuts

When the selection caught my eye

The young man offered help and I reply

"No, I'm just looking at your nuts."

My sister laughs and I felt a putz

COULD I TRY ON THAT PRETTY DRESS

“Could I try on that pretty dress

In the window?” she asked him

He replied “well I would prefer

That you used a cubicle madam” 

SHOP ASSISTANCE

 

I was shopping

With my wife

And we found ourselves

In the alcohol isle

But couldn’t decide

What we should get

So we asked the man

Filling the shelf

What he would recommend

He gave us both

A cursory glance

Before he responded

“I think Crabbies for Madam

And for sir,

The Old Peculiar”

Cheeky git

We bought a case

Of Wine as well

INTERNET SHOPPING

Shopping on the Internet

Is very good indeed

Delivered to your home

If that is what you need

 

Plain paper packages

Arriving at your door

Discretion always guaranteed

Of that you can be sure

 

Devices and appliances

And leather goods as well

Hoods and whips and manacles

Whatever rings your bell

 

Theres a degree of anonymity

With this way to shop

Which is all-important

When you’re an Archbishop