21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 376
Oh, do you know the muffin man,
The muffin man, the muffin man,
Oh, do you know the muffin man,
He’s the one in the muffin top
IF THE SINGULAR IS THIS
If the singular is this
And the plural is these,
Why isn’t the plural of kiss
Ever referred to as kese?
PROCRASTINATION IS THE THIEF OF TIME # 2
Procrastination is the thief of time
And our span of time is so brief
So because I dithered I can’t reply
To the question “where's the beef”
PUT DOWN # 62
Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
If he says “Did you just fall from heaven?”
Take a breath and pause for a bit
Then reply “Yes I fell from heaven
But then I landed on a soft shit?”
MY SON JOKES ABOUT MY AGE # 4
My son jokes about my age
He really keeps going on and on
He says that when I was at school
I was best friends with Nelson
WHY DID THE LION CROSS THE ROAD?
Why did the Lion cross the road?
Well not just to get to the other side
The reason he wanted to cross over
Was to get to the other pride
FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 2
The sorcerer’s apprentice
Wasn’t there for tutorage
He was only interested in
The Sorcerer's Appendage
DISNEY HAVE GOT INTO PORN # 2
Disney have got into porn
Namely with the Brothers Grimm
It’s to be an ensemble piece
Entitled The Brother's Quim
PETER PAN IS A BIT OF A GAY ICON
Peter Pan is a bit of a gay icon
As he disrupts the pirates shanties
But that’s not even his real name
He was baptized as Peter Panties
WHY DID THE ONE HANDED MAN
Why did the one handed man
Cross the road without pause to stop?
Well it’s a no brainer really
It was to get to the second hand shop
SEX TOY STORY
Her husband had a Woody
But that didn’t impress her
So she went and got Buzz
Out of the drawer in her dresser
ON MY BED AT HOME # 2
On my bed at home I have
A deluxe memory foam mattress
But it remembers I’m overweight
Which causes me great distress
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