Friday, 2 October 2015

A Little Bit Of Humour # 99

WHINGING BRITS ABROAD # 2

We went on holiday to Spain
The taxi drivers were a nightmare
All of them were Spanish
Now how can that be fair?

WHINGING HOLIDAY MAKERS # 2

We had a terrible holiday
It was ruined by drunken pests
Our tour operator should have
Warned us of noisy unruly guests

ARE YOU WEARING EAU DE COLOGNE?

Are you wearing eau de Cologne?
Well something smells wrong
I don’t think it’s the real deal
Like it was bottled in Hong Kong?

ALTHOUGH I’M CLEARLY NOT A GIRL

Although I’m clearly not a girl I do
Understand the concept of a trainer bra
But if there are similar aims with trainer socks
Then I don’t know what they are

MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR IS FAT AND BALD

My next door neighbour is fat and bald
And just sits around all day
He’s looks like the Buddha, but without
The enlightenment I’d say

I TOLD MY DAD THAT I HAD JOB TEMPING

I told my dad that I had job temping
Which sent him quite dolalli
“Fifteen years of education” he raged
“To work at a bowling alley”

ECCEDENTESIAST DESCRIBES SOMEONE

Eccedentesiast describes someone
Who hide their pain behind a smile
Football supporters are like that
Especially if you support Carlisle

MY MUSIC TASTES ARE QUITE ECLECTIC

My music tastes are quite eclectic
So in almost any genre I easily fit
From classical to electro swing
But rap music is an oxymoron isn’t it?

THE DEFINITION OF OXYMORON

The definition of oxymoron
Well that should be a breeze
I’ll give you a clue, it’s not
A person too stupid to breathe

APPLE ARE BUILDING A NEW HQ

Apple are building a new HQ
Its secret design, nobody knows
But one thing we know for sure
The office won’t have windows

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