21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 259

Matthew, Mark, Luke and John
Guard the bed that I lie on:
Four corners to my bed
Four angels round my head,
One to watch and one to pray
And two to bear my soul away
This is comforting you may say
But look at it another way
With angels round my bed
And lustful thoughts in my head
I can’t seem to find a way
That I can get my end away

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 260

Says the little girl to the little boy,
"What shall we do?"
“I could play with your little toy”?
“That we could do”

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 261

Says the little boy to the little girl,
"What shall we do?"
“Could I play among your curls”?
“That we could do”

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 262

Tom he was a piper's son,
He learned to play when he was young,
But of all the things that he could play
He was happiest at his drum array

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 263

Tommy Snooks and Bessie Brooks
Were walking out one Sunday;
Tommy Snooks and Bessie Brooks
Walked to the woods this one day
And Tommy Snooks to Bessie Brooks,
Had something of a fun day

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 264

If Candlemas day
Be dry and fair
Will anyone
Actually care?

Candlemas day (February 2nd)

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 265

If Candlemas day
Be wet and foul
Then we all will wear
The usual scowl

Candlemas day (February 2nd)

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 266

If St Paul's day
Be fair and clear
Then Wimbledon
Will be good this year
And strawberries will
Sell well my dear

St Paul's day (June 29th)

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 267

Bless you, bless you, bonny bee:
Say, when will your wedding be?
I’m only interested I should say
So we can all come and ruin your day

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 268

There was a man lived in the moon,
And it was in July, And not in June
When the man who lived in the moon,
Found the Americans had come

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 269

A carrion crow sat on an oak,
A gallows tree, for a carrion crow,
“Soon I’m going to eat that bloke”
Said the carrion crow sat on the oak,

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 270

A Little Cock Sparrow
Sat on a tree,
Until a sparrow hawk
Ate him for his tea

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 271

There was an Old Woman lived under a hill
There was an old woman
Lived under a hill,
Now she has died
And there she lies still

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 272

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a ram
But he was too light on his feet
So wasn’t worth a damn

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 273

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
Luckily he didn’t end up in bits
Because he was so off his tits

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 274

Humpty Dumpty fell off a wall
No one actually saw it at all
And he can’t say what the truth is
Because he’s totally gone to pieces

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 275

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the Kings horses and all the Kings men
Never saw Humpty Dumpty again

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 276

Little Jack Horner
Sat in a corner
Reading a copy of “Jugs”
Not a classy read
He did willingly concede
But it gave him a couple of tugs