ARE YOU WEARING? # 11

ARE YOU WEARING THAT FOR A BET?

Are you wearing that for a bet?
I can see no other reason
To dress like a total pratt
Unless it’s the silly season

ARE YOU WEARING BLACK GLOVES?

Are you wearing black gloves?
Oh its one of your naked escapades
Just gloves and matching shoes
Well you look like the five of spades

ARE YOU WEARING A HALO?

Are you wearing a halo?
Well angel you look very sweet
But looks can be deceptive
Not every angel that I meet
Is as sweet as they look
And their morals take a back seat
So are you as sweet as you look?
If not then I’m in for a treat

ARE YOU WEARING IT FOR THE CRAIC?

Are you wearing it for the craic?
Surely the convent will want it back
It’s your habit? Well that’s a twister
Get away with you, you’re never a sister
Well I say you’re too lovely to be a nun
But if I’m wrong I’ll be getting none

ARE YOU WEARING A CONFIDENT AIR?

Are you wearing a Confident Air?
There is certainly a hint of smugness I can trace
Just remember that confidence is at its peak
Just moments before you fall flat on your face

ARE YOU WEARING POLKA-DOT PANTS?

Are you wearing polka-dot pants?
What do you mean how do I know?
Well if you wear polka-dot underwear
Under white shorts they tend to show

ARE YOU WEARING MOURNING WEAR?

Are you wearing mourning wear?
I’m sorry, you are the grieving wife?
I here you’re not a very merry widow
So did you drive him to take his own life?

ARE YOU WEARING BLACK ATTIRE?

Are you wearing black attire?
I must tell you it rather lights my fire
I’m sorry, you are the grieving wife?
I must apologize for my desire
Oh you are a very merry widow?
Then let’s release you from that attire

ARE YOU WEARING DENIM DUNGAREES?

Are you wearing denim dungarees?
Even for a Feminist its a little lack lustre
And for someone as er.. Voluptuous as you
You do come across as a fat ball buster

ARE YOU WEARING A MUDPACK?

Are you wearing a mudpack?
I’m sorry I don’t mean to scoff
I’m sure it makes you more attractive
Right up until you take it off