ARE YOU WEARING? # 10

ARE YOU WEARING A SASH?

Are you wearing a sash?
I think you’ll make a splash
And normally you’d be a smash
But isn’t that just a bit rash
I mean for this kind of a bash
For you only to wear a sash

ARE YOU WEARING PIERCING’S?

Are you wearing piercing’s?
Thru ears and nose and gob
Oh and is that a nipple ring?
I don’t think you’ll get the job
No please keep your trousers on
I’m sure there’s one thru your knob

ARE YOU WEARING A KILT?

Are you wearing a kilt?
Won’t your extremities wilt?
Well you’re a very hardy guy
And a braver man than I
You are pant less are you not?
Oh so your not a proper Scot
So you’re not very hardy guy
Nor a braver man than I
Well if from tradition you avert
You’re just a man in a skirt

ARE YOU WEARING GLASSES?

Are you wearing glasses?
Because you tire of the passes
But they will ignore the glasses
Worn by girls with nice arses

ARE YOU WEARING SPECTACLES?

Are you wearing spectacles?
To make you look sophisticated
Well I think your expectations
Have unfortunately been bated
You just look a little bookish
Sorry if that leaves you deflated

ARE YOU WEARING IT FOR A BET?

Are you wearing it for a bet?
Well you haven’t won it yet
But I would have to say
You’re worth a pound each way

ARE YOU WEARING THAT FOR A REASON?

Are you wearing that for a reason?
That most revealing spray on dress
I can see everything you’ve got
There is no need for me to guess

ARE YOU WEARING GUMBOOTS?

Are you wearing gumboots?
The great dependable welly
They’re only short coming being
They make your feet smelly

ARE YOU WEARING DREADLOCKS?

Are you wearing dreadlocks?
On you they don’t look right
Firstly you’re not Jamaican
And secondly you’re white

ARE YOU WEARING A FRINGE?

Are you wearing a fringe?
I’m sorry it made me cringe
But I have a bit of an aversion
To that Winkleman person