SENIOR MOMENTS

I TOOK HIM TO THE MOUNTAIN

I took my grandson
Up into the mountains
We walked for three hours
Until we reached a vantage point
And we sat and looked in awe
At Gods majestic landscape
My intention was to impart some wisdom
To my young grandson
About how he was at the startline
And I had the finish line in sight
But I didn’t in the end
It was only when we had hiked
For three hours down the mountain
That I remembered
Why we went up there in the first place

SENIOR SPEED

People speed
For many reasons
Some are disorganised,
Some are late,
Some are impatient,
Some have no sense of direction,
For some it’s an emergency
That fuels their urgency
But for me, as a retiree
I have to drive fast
To get there before I forget
Where it is I’m going

YOUNG AT HEART

Young at heart
Well that’s a start
You’re only as old as you feel
Isn’t that the deal?
Well in my heart I feel young
But when all said and done
Being young at heart, let’s face it
Still means you’re older in other places

RETIRED?

I was tired yesterday
And I’m tired again today
That makes me re-tired I’d say

HAPPY HOURS

I always liked happy hour
Well when I was a younger chap
Now at my age I’m afraid
Happy hour is taking a little nap

CRS

I’ve been diagnosed with CRS
Yes I think that’s it
I forget what it means
Oh yes “Can’t remember shit”

BREAKING NEWS ABOUT THE OLD

Do you know why it is?
That old people like to keep a pet
Is it for the exercise?
Or a bit of company, better yet

Well the truth of it is
And this will leave you all agog
It’s so when they bend down and break wind
They can blame it on the dog

SENIOR DILEMMA

Why is it that as I get older
My brain cells are dying
But my fat cells
Just keep on multiplying

SENIOR BRIGHT SIDE

There are benefits to getting old
Though you may feel you are cursed
But just remember in a hostage situation
You are likely to be released first

SENIOR CONVERSE

You should not as a general rule
Engage in converse in anyway
With one or more retirees
On almost any given day
Because they have nothing
But time to fill their day
Which they use in short
To think of silly things to say

A WORTHWHILE PURSUIT

Since I happily retired
I have the reason and rhyme
To devote to my hobbies
So I spend most of my time
In the pursuit of exellence
And just in my spare time
I have perfected the art
Of converting beer and wine
Incredibly quickly
Into pure golden urine

HALFWAY UP THE STAIRS

I have come to the conclusion
That old age just isn’t fair
You know sometimes I find myself
Standing halfway up the stairs
Wondering if I was going up
Or coming back down from there

GROWTH SPURTS

When I was in my teens
I was regarded as unusual
Due to the rapid speed
I was extending in the vertical
But that was long ago
And my height now is more usual
But some unseen force is at work
And I’m growing horizontal

EASTER EGG HUNT

When it comes to hiding the eggs
In the garden at Easter
I can actually hide my own now
Thanks to Dementia

ACT OF MERCY

I have always told my children
And I told them again last night, quite late
That I didn’t want to live
In a vegetative state
To be given fluids from a bottle,
Dependent on a machine, no matter how up to date
So they took away my glass of wine
And unplugged my computer, the ingrates