MY DOG SWALLOWED

 

My Dog swallowed some of my

Scrabble tiles annoyingly

I’m afraid when nature takes

Its course it could spell tragedy

IN THE SHED I OPENED A TIN

 

In the shed I opened a tin

Its contents were Red within

But it smelt like blue paint

So I resolved it was Red paint

I’M A SCARECROW AND I WON FIRST PRIZE

 

I’m a scarecrow and I won first prize

When my victory was revealed

By the judges at the county show

They said I was outstanding in my field

I’M A SCARECROW AND IT WAS SAID TO ME

 

I’m a scarecrow and it was said to me

That I was the best they’d ever seen

I have to say that I was very flattered

At the compliment but hay, it’s in my jeans

SHELLFISH GENERALLY ARE INDUSTRIOUS CREATURES

 

Shellfish generally are industrious creatures

Which is why on the whole crustaceans prosper

But some of their kind are lazy and sloth like

One won’t lift a claw, and that’s the Slobster!

ROSES ARE BEIGE, VIOLETS ARE BLACK

 

Roses are beige, violets are black

When do all the colours come back

Oh my I’m such a confused bloke

Am I colourblind or having a stroke

ARE YOU WEARING A LOOK OF DISAPPOINTMENT?

Are you wearing a look of disappointment?

Well I think you’re guilty of Lily gilding

Because at your age using Viagra is like

Putting a new flagpole on a condemned building