VINCENT VAN GOGH’S SUNFLOWERS

 

Vincent Van Gogh’s

Painting of the Sunflowers

Always brings me to tears

I would have gone mad too

If I had painted it and would

Have cut off both ears

INTO A TATTOOIST’S YOU SLINK

 

Into a tattooist’s you slink

As you’re on the brink

However take a moment to think

Before you Ink

WELL I AM A GIVER

 

I have to be honest

I am a giver

I have donated

A piece of my liver

Not a lot though

It was just a sliver

CHRISTMAS IS FOR FRIENDS AND FAMILY

 

Christmas is for friends and family,

But by no means exclusively

After all the Three Wise Men

Were strangers in Bethlehem

WE BROKE UP LAST CHRISTMAS

We broke up last Christmas

A hasty knee jerk reaction

To a silly misunderstanding

Which I regretted so much

And I was still hoping

For some kind of miracle

That we might make amends

When we met by chance

And there was a spark

I was looking closely

For some kind of sign

That we might go back

To how things were

But it was soon apparent

That it was too late now

To salvage our relationship

That was born and died

At Christmas time

THOUGHTS OF YOU POP INTO MY HEAD

 

You’re just a name in an address book

But thoughts of you pop into my head

Some distant half-forgotten memories

Of when we shared a home and a bed,

In quiet moments I wish us back there

Where I had a special place in your heart

But it would take a Christmas miracle

For us to go back in time to the start

It was a very special Christmas love, but

Too much time has passed since then

And it’s too late now to have regrets

For love that died by the seasons end

WORLD RECORD MEMBERSHIP

 

I’m not bragging

When I say this

But my Penis was once

In the Guinness Book

Of World Records

It’s true, no word of a lie

But then the Librarian

Told me to take it out