72 Miles From The Sea

Wednesday, 5 July 2023

The left eye once said

To the right eye, Between you

And me, something smells

A disillusioned vet wrote a book

And it is a real kiss and tell

About his life and times, entitled

All creatures grunt and smell

I would like to kill the person

Who said school days were fun

I was taught by Birds of pray,

More commonly known as nuns

I was happily sat contemplating,

When a crab scuttled into view

So, I determined the time had come

To buy some more special shampoo

God created the Pilot Whale,

Contrary to heretical theories,

And it was so well received

God went on to make a series

I had to know what she thought

So, I texted her to check

“How was the sex” I asked

Hoping it wasn’t egotistic

And she would reply soon

And she texted “quite quick”

Honeymoon period refers

To a time, that’s much less stressful

But more literally, it means

Consummation was unsuccessful