SHE HAD BUTTERFLIES IN HER STOMACH

 

She had butterflies in her stomach

When she walked round the Zoo

Which is why she was later banned

From the Butterfly House and the Zoo

HE HAD A CRUSH ON HIS TEACHER

 

He had a crush on his teacher

And he thought she said be mine,

While she was marking his essay

And what she said was B minus

ONCE IN SOUTH-WESTERN GERMANY

 

Once in South-western Germany

In a time now only a tropical echo

Lived an insectivorous lizard

Known now as a Blackforest gecko

DIMINUTIVE HEROINE OF KING KONG

 

Diminutive Heroine of King Kong

The Queen of Scream, Fay Wray

Was beauty to King Kong’s beast

And was Queen of the B’s in her day

LAST NIGHT I ASKED A SEX WORKER

 

Last night I asked a sex worker

“What do you charge for a handy?”

She replied “Roughly 50 quid”

I winced and replied “And gently?”

ARE YOU WEARING A DUMB EXPRESSION?

 

Are you wearing a dumb expression?

You certainly look like a schmuck

Not that I’m not saying you’re stupid

Where thinking is concerned you’ve had no luck

HOW IRONIC WOULD IT BE

 

How ironic would it be if

When learning survival skills

On a survival weekend

You had to eat Bear Grills