OUR LOCAL CHURCH IS RAISING MONEY

 

Our local church is raising money

For restoration to the steeple

Donors make an online payment

Using the secure system, Papal

IN THE EIGHTIES I USED TO SUPPLY

 

In the eighties I used to supply

Filofaxes to the mafia at the time

I suppose you could say I was

Involved in very organised crime

ARE YOU WEARING A POINTY HAT?

 

Are you wearing a pointy hat?

And you don’t get fed up with that

When they ask about your wizard hat

“Does your head reach the top of that?”

ARE THESE KNICKERS SATIN?

 

A woman asked “Are these knickers satin?”

To an assistant who was chattin

She replied loudly for the whole shop to view

“No of course not, they’re new”

THE SENIOR CITIZENS GROUP

 

The Senior Citizens group

Were one of the very top

Break dancing troupes

And they were called Hip Op

GRANDPA ALWAYS SAID THAT HE WANTED

 

Grandpa always said that he wanted,

And he had the plans formalised,

That he would be laid to rest with Nan

So on his death we had her euthanized

FUNERALS DO NOT HAVE TO BE A TIME OF SADNESS

 

Funerals do not have to be a time of sadness

And while they should not be a time of gladness

They can still be a time of celebration though

Especially if the deceased was a miserable so and so