SHE PUT THE ASHES IN AN EGG TIMER

 

She put the ashes in an egg timer

After her husband’s final breath

So he would at least be useful

Around the house after his death

HE WAS RUNNING AN ELECTRIC FIRE ALL DAY

 

He was running an electric fire all day

And he’d never been so extravagant before

But he said he wasn’t worried about the cost

Because he borrowed it from next door

I ONCE KNEW A GIRL CALLED JO # 2

 

I once knew a girl called Jo

Jo with the deep voice

Oh how she made me rejoice

She was so very choice

With no Adams apple

I’m pleased to say

I KNOW I’M GETTING OLD # 2

 

You know you’re getting old

When you start to curse and mutter

After realising you spread face cream

On your bread instead of butter

AT MY ADVANCED AGE # 4

 

At my advanced age

I don’t worry too much about

Avoiding temptation

It will avoid me without doubt

ARE YOU WEARING A TRICORN HAT?

 

Are you wearing a tricorn hat?

It looks quite comfortable

I hope you’re going to a party

And you don’t think you’re John Bull

CHEESE DYNASTY

 

The dynasty of the Worlds

Richest cheese is built on

Family values and the daughter

Of that dynasty is Paris Stilton