I BOUGHT SHOES FROM A DRUG DEALER

 

I bought shoes from a drug dealer,

Not my normal purchase by the way,

And I don’t know what he laced them with

But I've been tripping all day

A TELLING EXPRESSION

 

I told my girlfriend that she had

Drawn her eyebrows in too high

She didn’t say anything in response

But there was a look of surprise

MY WIFE ACCUSED ME

 

My wife accused me

Of being the immature sort

I wasn’t very happy

So I said “get out of my fort”

ARE YOU WEARING PJ’S?

 

Are you wearing PJ’s?

Well, all I can say is phwor

Betty Boop is my favourite

And I’ve never wanted you more

PERMANENT CHEESE

 

Maximillian Mouse is different

And likes to stand out if he can

Which is why he has curly-hair

And his chosen cheese is Permesan

LAW IS LIKE THE FAMILY BUSINESS

 

Law is like the family business

And that includes my Niece

She is a Corrections Officer

With the Grammar Police

MY CHAUFFEUR IS A RUSSIAN

 

My chauffeur is a Russian

From a city called Rostov

He’s very good at his job

His name is Pikup Andropov