I’VE FALLEN OUT WITH OUR LOLLIPOP LADY

 

I’ve fallen out with our lollipop lady

And our relationship has lost its gloss

Everything would have been okay

If not for the fact she made me cross

COW CROSSING

 

Why did the Cow cross the road?

Well, she risked her health and hide

For a blatantly obvious reason

As she wanted to get to the udder side

NO ONE WOULD SIT NEXT TO THE MUSHROOM

 

No one would sit next to the mushroom

And he really didn’t understand why

It happened whatever the occasion

And it confused him as he was a fungi

THE DEFINITION OF A PLUMBER

 

The definition of a Plumber

Is quite easily comprehended

It’s someone who has to repair

The things that I have mended

THERE MAY HAVE BEEN SOME DOUBT

 

There may have been some doubt

As to his allegiance to the club

Denoted by replica shirt and shorts

But no such doubt existed in regard

To the authenticity of his jock strap

As we all know what they supports.

JEZZA CAME CLOSE AT THE LAST ELECTION

 

Jezza came close at the last election

There’s certainly no doubt about that

But that was then, but now he’s gone

From Corbyn to Hasbyn in no time flat

ON THE JOURNEY THROUGH MARRIAGE

 

On the journey through marriage

There is inevitably a little strife

But I would say as a general rule

“A happy wife means a happy life”