When you’re on the pull
If you want to break
the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something
clever
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your
endeavour
“I'm sorry I wasn't
part of your past”
You can say to her
“But I can make up for
that
By being in your
future”
Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
If he says “hey doll can I buy you a drink”
Let him buy you a
drink at the bar
Then speak “Let me
just say that if bullshit
Was music, you'd be a
full orchestra”
My friend told me he was going
To a fancy dress party
Dressed as an Italian
island
I told him not to be
Sicily
Anaphylactic shock can strike
Even if you are
normally well
And I can give you the
cause
Of Anaphylaxis in a
nutshell
Combine Harvesters
And you'll have a
really big restaurant
But a note of caution
Service will still be
at best, nonchalant
I'm rubbish with names
I can’t help it a bit
It’s a proper
condition
There's a name for
it...
People who sell meat are disgusting
Even if it’s halal or
kosher
But then I’ve heard
that people
Who sell fruit and
veg, are grocer
