I MET MY PROSPECTIVE FATHER IN LAW AT THE WEEKEND

 

I met my prospective father in law at the weekend

And he seemed quite normal when I saw him

So, I was quite pleased until my girlfriend said

“Everyone seems normal until you get to know them”

I NEED YOU TO DELETE ME FROM YOUR ADDRESS BOOK

 

“I need you to delete me from your address book”

My ex-girlfriend emailed me to express

I pondered for some time before I replied

“Who is this? And how did you get this address?”

MY SISTER IS A SOPHISTICATE

 

My sister is a sophisticate

And has travelled far away

She’s been to a Taj Mahal

That isn’t an Indian takeaway

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 413

 

Doctor Foster

Went to Gloucester

But the police followed

As he was an imposter

ARE YOU WEARING TARTY GARB?

 

Are you wearing tarty garb?

Well, I will say this for a start

You might well get picked up

But no one wants to date a tart

IF HELEN WAS THE FACE

 

If Helen was the face

That launched a thousand ships

Then Paris was the dick

Who caused Troy’s apocalypse

HIS LIFE WAS LIKEN

 

His life was liken

To a candles flame

But his flickering glow

Did not sputter or gutter

For his tapers story

Was to burn in all his glory

Though in short duration

It was an intense light

But the flame that burns

Twice as bright,

Burns half as long