I NEED TO START PAYING CLOSER ATTENTION

 

I need to start paying closer attention

To things, every detail of this and that

Because I found out today that my wife

And I, have different names for our cat

WHY IS IT THAT EVERYTHING I LOVE

 

Why is it that everything I love

Is either unhealthy, addictive

Or has taken out more than one 

Restraining order against me

AS A BOY I ASKED GOD FOR A BIKE ONE DAY

As a boy I asked God for a bike one day,

But I knew God didn’t work that way

So, I decided to steal a bike and then

I asked God for forgiveness instead 

I'M REALLY GOOD AT DOING THINGS

 

I'm really good at doing things

Practical and skilful things,

Hands on artisan type things

Until I have people watching

I BOUGHT A VACUUM CLEANER SIX MONTHS AGO

I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago

And a top of the range model was a must

But I have to say it hasn’t earned its keep as yet

As so far all it's been doing is gathering dust

IMAGINE BEING FIVE MINUTES FROM THE END

 

Imagine being five minutes from the end

Of the longest movie ever made and then

It starts over because it forgot something

Well, that's my wife’s way of story telling

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 410

 

Little Jack Horner

Sat in the corner

Because he was

An antisocial fella