I’ve survived prostate cancer
I've had two bypass
surgeries,
I'm half blind, more than half deaf
And I have type two diabetes
I’ve had hip replacements,
An elbow and two new
knees,
I can't remember if
I'm 85 or 92
And when I go out I
can’t go far
As I have a very weak
bladder
But at least I can
still drive my car
An elderly woman decided to prepare her will
“I have two requests” she told her solicitor
“First, I want to be cremated, and second I want
My ashes scattered
over all around Tombola
“Tombola?” the
solicitor “Why a Bingo Hall?”
“Well, that way I'll
be sure to see my daughter”
I've learned in my life that it takes years
To build up trust, and
respectability
And it only
takes suspicion, and not
A shred of proof, to destroy it completely
We have a cat called “Bowling”
So why did we call him
that?
It’s obvious when you
think about it
Because “Bowling” is
an Alley cat
I am not fresh or original
That kind of sums up
my story
And I have greyish
white hair
So, I am become hoary
Peter, Peter, pumpkin-eater,
Had a wife and couldn't keep
It was doomed from the
start
As pumpkin made him
fart
Are you wearing white shoes?
I don’t know the
wrongs or rights
But I’m quite sure you
shouldn’t
Wear white shoes with
black tights
