I went into hospital for minor surgery
The staff did not fill
me with a sense of security
As I was going under I
heard the surgeon say
“Hand me
that...uh...that uh... doohicky”
Sunday, 5 March 2023
I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 16
MY FATHER TRADES ON THE STOCK EXCHANGE
My father trades on the stock exchange
He really enjoys the
thrill
Last week he traded
boxes of Oxo cubes
For multiple jars of
Bovril
YOU’VE BURNED THE DINNER AGAIN
“You’ve burned the dinner again” he said
To the plate with the
burnt offering on
“It’s not burned, its
caramelized” she retorted
“Well, you’ve caramelized
it to carbon”
CROSSWORD CONUNDRUM
“Seven down, “Fizzy Drink” eight letters”
I said to my fellow
traveller’s arrayed
They looked at me
blankly, then one said
“If it was seven up,
it would be lemonade”
AN ACCIDENT IN THE KITCHEN
An accident in the kitchen
When the condiments
ignited
Blew mixed herbs in my
eyes
And left me
Parsley-sighted
WHEN ASKED WHAT HE DID FOR A LIVING # 1
When asked what he did for a living
He replied furtively
“I’m a spy”
When told he was
dressed as a farmer
He added “I’m a
shepherd Spy”
I THOUGHT HE WAS SHOT IN THE FOREST
I thought he was shot in the forest
But I was wrong, and
the reason
Was a simple
misunderstanding
He was shot in the Lumbar
region
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