SOME PEOPLE ARE DOWN BEAT

 

Some people are down beat

And see life as a negative

But I was born to be an optimist

Even my blood type is B Positive

SO IF THEY PUT REAL LEMONS

 

So, if they put real lemons

In the washing up liquid

Does that mean that they

Put real fairies in fairy liquid

GRETEL DIDN’T GO TO THE WOODS

 

Gretel didn’t go to the woods

Looking for a house of gingerbread

When she walked along with Hansel

She was looking for a muffin instead

SEND ONE BAG TO TOKYO

 

A passenger said “Send one bag to Tokyo

And the other to Paris, is that clear?”

They said at the check in desk “you’re going

To Athens so we can’t do that I fear”

“Why ever not” the man said in reply

“That’s exactly what you did last year”

BIMBETTE PACKED ALL HER GLOVES

 

Bimbette packed all her gloves

Into one suitcase for Santorini

When I asked her why she replied

“Because its hand luggage only”

MY WIFE TOLD THE ITALIAN WAITER BLUNTLY

 

My wife told the Italian waiter bluntly

Without ambiguity what she meant

That his pepper grinder was like a penis

So, he thanked her for the condiment

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN WEARING TIGHTS?

 

“How long have you been wearing tights?”

I asked him as we got changed for cricket

He smiled at me ruefully and then replied

“Since my wife found them in my pocket”