I PHONED THE DENTIST IN SOME DISTRESS

I phoned the dentist in some distress

And I had to get a bit shirty

The receptionist finally booked me

An appointment at Tooth Hurty.

STEP BROTHER

When I got home from work

My brother came into view

He was laying on the doorstep

But hey that’s Matt for you 

SOMEBODY TRASHED THE BIKE

Somebody trashed the bike

Of the school bully, Michael

It was after an anti-bullying lecture

Entitled “let’s break the cycle” 

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 380

 

Jack and Jill

Went up the hill

And at the summit

Jack does Jill

ARE YOU WEARING SPIVS GARB?

Are you wearing spivs garb?

You are doubtless here to chisel

Hawking your counterfeit goods

Doubtless all sausage and no sizzle 

FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 10

 

Tinderfella went to the dance

Looking for a little romance

But in the end he didn’t find her

Because they were all on grindr

I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 2

 

I went into hospital for minor surgery

And the anaesthetist was a bit of a clown

“Did this patient sign the organ Doner form?”

He said as I was lying there in my gown