PTERODACTYL

None of the dinosaurs ever heard

The pterodactyl spend a penny

And the simple reason for that

Was because of the silent P

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 369

 

Oh, the grand old Duke of York

He had ten thousand men

He marched them up to the top of the hill,

And he marched them down again.

But when they were not up nor down

The grand old Duke forgot they were there

But that was an occupational hazard

As he had early onset dementia

ARE YOU WEARING A TOGA?

 

Are you wearing a toga?

I don’t want to be an ogre

But you’ll be a hit alright

At the house party tonight

As everyone will be knowing.

Because you will be showing

That beneath the flowing robes

You have unfettered globes

PROCRASTINATION IS THE THIEF OF TIME # 2

 

Procrastination is the thief of time

And our span of time is so brief

So, because I dithered I can’t reply

To the question “where's the beef”

WHEN I CHECKED LABELS AT THE SUPERMARKET

 

When I checked labels at the supermarket

I had to point out the irony to my wife Helen

As to why lemon juice had artificial flavouring

And washing up liquid is made with real lemons

I AM NOT A GERMAPHOBE

 

I am not a Germaphobe, but cleanliness

Is something to which I have no objections

But it seems pointless, to sterilise needles

That are to be used for lethal injections

A PENNY’S WORTH

 

Apparently “to put your two pennies worth in”

Means that you took your chance to speak

But you only get a “penny for your thoughts”

Which I have always thought a bit of a cheek

I don’t understand the disparity in the values

Why is it cheaper to think than it is to speak?