A BLONDE GIFT

 

Bimbette got a new scarf for Christmas

But in the New Year she exchanged it

The store took it back without a quibble

Even though she said it was too tight a fit

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 299

 

Taffy was a Welshman

He came from Porthcawl

I think if he were from Cardiff

He’d hardly be Welsh at all

 

“Taffy was a Welshman was an actual nursery rhyme

Popularised in the 18th Century, so don’t blame me”

ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS DRAWERS?

 

Are you wearing Christmas drawers?

I would like a look at yours

I bet a pound to a penny

You’re not wearing any

There we have it at last

You are as I thought bare arsed

Of course, it makes you look loose

Even if you have an excuse

Well that really is shocking

You’re supposed to hang a stocking

FOGHORN LEGHORN AND ALL HIS PALS # 2

 

Foghorn leghorn and all his pals

Have all chosen to assemble

Their very own chicken choir

Which is called a Hensemble

LIFE’S VEXATIONS # 7

 

I hate it when buying sunglasses

When I find a pair, I want to try

And that stupid little plastic thing

Dangles right in front of my eye

MY BOYFRIEND IS JUST LIKE SANTA CLAUS

 

My boyfriend is just like Santa Claus

Though he doesn’t fulfil a single wish

And he doesn’t give me presents

But he’s like Santa because he’s a myth

WHERE THE LONELY ELVES GO

 

The “house of fun” in Santa’s village

Is where lonely elves go to take pause

And the owner proudly boasts that

He has more ho’s than Santa Claus