IF YOUR BLIND DATE IS DESCRIBED TO YOU # 7

If your blind date is described to you

As “a Poet” don’t go all romantic

Because it will be worse than it sounds

And they’ll be a depressive Schizophrenic 

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 269

 

A carrion crow sat on an oak,

A gallows tree, for a carrion crow,

“Soon I’m going to eat that bloke”

Said the carrion crow sat on the oak,

ARE YOU WEARING A MERKIN?

 

Are you wearing a merkin?

I’m sorry about the smirkin’

But to be quite honest Betty

It looked better on the yeti

IT HAPPENED LAST HALLOWEEN

I stepped out of the car

And was verbally assailed

As I stood upon my drive

 

“Trick or treat”

Came the banshee chorus

From creatures barely alive

 

I was taken aback

By this unprecedented event

This new tactic they’d contrived

 

In the past I had been safe

Behind locked doors

When the leaches arrive

 

But pretending not to be in

Would not cut it any more

If I was to survive

 

I must be as clever

As the candy seeking predators

And learn to duck and dive

 

So, when a firework went off

And their attention was distracted

I ran away to hide 

THE LITTLE CHILDREN SAY

 

The little children say

All cute and sweet

On all hallows eve

“Trick or treat”

 

The little pleading faces

Look up with innocence

Wide eyed angels

Full of malevolence

 

A cute kid you can trust

I haven’t met yet

And what they really mean

Is tricks and threats

THE NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD

 

On all hallows eve when the sun has set

The ghosts and ghouls come out to play

With dripping fangs and bloody claws

They prowl the street in search of prey

And when to my door the fiends appear

I tell the “Trick or Treaters” to go away

TRICK OR TREAT

 

When the little boys and girls

Knock at my door for candy

I must give them what they want

“Or else” is their modus operandi

So, with a false smile I comply

But under my breath I pray

That by the time Christmas comes

They’ll all have tooth decay