ARE YOU WEARING A WITCH’S HAT?

 

Are you wearing a witch’s hat?

I don’t know what I think of that

I will just have to wait and see

If you decide to put a spell on me

I think it might be a thrill

If you were to bend me to your will

SHE COULD BEGUILE AND MESMERISE

She could beguile

And mesmerize

She could entrance

And hypnotize

She was a cunning

Thorny little bitch

She was also a stunning

Horny little Witch

ARE YOU WEARING A GHOULISH OUTFIT?

Are you wearing a ghoulish outfit?

It’s made from an old bed sheet isn’t it?

That could be useful when the fun begins

As it could cover a multitude of sins 

IF YOUR BLIND DATE IS DESCRIBED TO YOU # 5

 

If your blind date is described to you

As “passionate and beautiful” don’t try her

Because in all probability she’ll be 

A Sloppy drunk and a pathological liar

THE POLICE ARE BEING ISSUED WITH PENCILS

 

The police are being issued with pencils and

Very thin sheets of paper, all very low tech

It’s a new initiative being rolled out so that

When crimes occur, they can trace a suspect

THE BLIZZARD OF OZ

 

The Blizzard of Oz

Continued to blow

Until the yellow brick road

Was covered in snow

MY DOCTOR IS A LOCUM

 

My doctor is a Locum

Who replaced Dr Slocombe

And all I get is Hokum

With a sprinkling of bunkum

But I have my heath so Ho hum