21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 221

 

Cackle, cackle, Mother Goose,

Have you any feathers loose?

Of course I have you silly fellow,

They’ve been plucking me for a pillow

ARE YOU WEARING BLACK ATTIRE?

 

Are you wearing black attire?

I must tell you it rather lights my fire

I’m sorry, you are the grieving wife?

I must apologize for my desire

Oh, you are a very merry widow?

Then let’s release you from that attire

PUT DOWN # 55

Put downs work the best

For deflecting unwanted attention

But try to be amusing

As this relieves the tension

If he starts spinning you a line

And he starts annoying you

Just say "Don't you have

A bowling game to get to?"

SUN GOD PHOEBUS

 

Sun God Phoebus

Greek God of light

God of prophesy

Poetry, music, and healing

Son of Zeus and Leto

Twin brother of Artemis     

SHE WAS AN OLD LONELY WIDOW # 2

 

She was an old lonely widow

Who you’d only bed for a bet

So, she kept filling his glass

Periodically asking “Am I sexy yet?”

THE MAN-O-GRAM

 

I left the county hospital

In some considerable distress

They made me put my todger

Inside a bloody trouser press

WHEN I WALKED INTO MY FRIEND’S HOUSE

 

When I walked into my friend’s house

I can’t describe the mess I found

I thought it had been burgled, but

His grandchildren had been round