UNLUCKY IN LUST

He fancied a change so asked his trophy girlfriend

“What about swinging do you fancy that?”

At the party he threw his keys in a bowl, but alas

Having arrived in a Porsche he went home alone in a Passat

THE STATE OF GRACE

 

Let me tell you about my Aunty Grace

She was found, to her utter disgrace,

In a state of undress in a public place,

Unashamedly sitting on a young man’s face

WHERE WAS YOUR CHERRY POPPED?

 

Where was your cherry popped?

Was it done with the utmost care?

At a party under a pile of coats

Or at the local cinema or theatre

Maybe out back in a dark alley way

Or in a car? many are popped there

Was it a hasty tryst in the woods?

Or on the patio bent over a chair

Wherever it occurred I would wager

It was an unsatisfactory affair

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 168

 

Multiplication is vexation,

Division is as bad;

And that’s why they invented the calculator

ARE YOU WEARING A WET SUIT?

 

Are you wearing a wet suit?

I’m sorry my query is moot

Why are you? Is more appropriate

As we’re stood in the Sahara desert

HAIR OF BROWN

 

Hair of brown

Falls in cascade

Over freckled skin

In perfect compliment

Like forest fronds

And dappled shade

SIGHTS, SOUNDS, SMELLS, TASTE AND TOUCH # 3

 

Sights, sounds, smells, taste and touch

It’s funny the things that cause the memories to arise

When all of a sudden memories of my Brother flood back

It’s Barry White, Wine gums and Apple Pies