He was driving home,
Shit faced drunk
Pissed as a cricket
Drunk as a skunk
Suddenly he swerved
To avoid a tree,
Then another, then another.
Then another tree
The police stopped him
For driving
erratically
“Having a little
trouble”?
The cop asked
sarcastically
The drunk told the cop
About the trees
everywhere
The cop just pointed
To the air freshener hanging
there
Cock a doodle doo,
My wife has lost her shoe;
Oh what a convenient confidence trick
Just so she can buy
some new
A traffic cop saw Bimbette knitting while driving
And couldn’t believe
his eyes at all
He angrily shouted at
her “Pull over, pull over”
She shouted back “no,
it’s a shawl”
Are you wearing something wicked?
Are you black clad
beneath the white?
Underneath your dress
are you silkily encased?
For a very wicked
wedding night
Though not the type
To put it about
She was a looker
Without a doubt
It’s a shame
I’m not in with a
shout
I’ll just go home
And knock one out
My wife has been missing for a week
The Police haven’t found
her yet
They told me to
prepare for the worst
So, I've put all her
clothes back in the closet
The body builder took off his vest
And Bimbette said, "What a Great chest
It’s because of all the exercising maybe”
He said, ‘That’s 100
lbs. of dynamite, Baby.'
The body builder took
off his trousers
And Bimbette said “Oh
wowsers
What great legs you have, strong like iron!”
He said, “That’s 100 lbs. of dynamite, Hon”'
The body builder took off his shorts
But instead of
complimentary retorts
Bimbette ran away
screaming in fear
“I’m getting the hell
out of here”
He quickly got dressed
and followed on
And earnestly asked
her what was wrong
“I got afraid of all
that dynamite because
When I saw how short
the fuse was!”
