Are you wearing suspenders?
One of my favourite
seven wonders
That miracle of
engineering
Both practical and
endearing
Oh, what a ransom I
would pay
If you would kindly
see your way
To show the smallest
glimpse of thigh
That would be most
pleasing to my eye
I was a stranger in town,
And didn’t know my way
around
“Could you tell me
mush?
How I get to Shepherds
Bush?”
To a local inhabitant
I did beg
And he replied “up the
Shepherd’s leg”
My wife and I use Vaseline,
I’m not ashamed to say
My wife and I use it
for sex
I’m not embarrassed to
say
We put it on the doorknob
To keep the kids at
bay
After fifty years of married life
And after being
prompted by his wife
A husband set out to
describe her
And this was what he
said of her
"You're A, B, C,
D, E, F,
G, H, I, J, K,
L." He said sweetly
“And what does that mean?”
She asked suspiciously
"Adorable,
Beautiful,
Cuddly, Delightful,
Elegant, Fragrant,
Generous, Heaven-sent.”
"Oh, that's so
lovely
What about I, J, K and
L?"
"I'm Just Kidding Love!" He laughed
And she made his eye
swell
As she sat by his bedside
As his life ebbed away
His eyes filled with
tears
And she heard him quietly
say
“All through the bad
times
You’ve been with me
When I lost my job
You were there to
support me
When the business went
under
You stood by me
When we lost the house
You stood beside me
When my health started
failing
You were still beside
me
“Do you know something
love?”
“What darling?” she
said thru the tears
“I've come to the
conclusion
You’re a Jonah dear”
A wife asked her husband
“Would you marry again? If I died?"
"No, I would definitely not"
The husband lied
“Good. I wouldn’t want
you
To get another spouse
Or have another woman
Living in my house”
“Or using my golf
clubs
At the club on ladies’
day”
“Well,” he said “don’t
worry
A comforter is a form of bedding
The modern example is
a duvet
Or perhaps a continental quilt,
An eiderdown is best
so they say
But I think that
you’re the best
Comforter by a very
long way
