SOME LIKE A GIRL

 

Some like a girl

Blessed with a certain glamour

Some like a girl

Who uses proper grammar

Some just want one

That bangs like a hammer

YOU ARE A WOMAN

 

You are a woman

Who attracts and enamours

You may not mean to

But still every man clamours

For the opportunity

To get in your jammers

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 89

 

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,

She had so many children she didn't know what to do!

Sadly this case is not an exception

If only her daughters had used contraception

DREAMS ARE REALLY VERY ODD # 3

 

Dreams are an odd part of life

Last night my considerate wife

Woke me from my slumber to declare

“It was so bloody unfair”

I said “what on earth is wrong?

“What’s unfair, what’s going on? 

“The life of a sports journalist”

She replied and she wasn’t even pissed

ROTY 2011

 

It is such a travesty

Of a decision I fear

Carol Vorderman

Winning Rear of the Year

 

But I wonder if Pippa

Gives a damn

That the voters

Prefer mutton to lamb

ARE YOU WEARING UNDERWEAR?

 

Are you wearing underwear?

Or are you naked under there

Have you gone commando?

Oh I really do hope that’s so

I like to think you are bare

Walking around sans underwear

VEGETUS # 3

 

My son has announced

His intent to take the pledge

To give up eating meat

He has given to allege

But I don’t know what he’ll eat

As he doesn’t eat veg