PHILOSOPHICAL REMINDER

 

Even though hurting you

Is the very last thing I want to do

Not to tell you this would be remiss

It is still on the list.

TAKEN ITS TOLL

 

I don’t have a bell to ring

Someone’s taken my dingaling

 

I don’t know what’s wrong

Someone has taken my dong

 

I don’t know why the bloody hell

I can’t seem to ring my bell

 

I know the batteries haven’t run out

It’s not old and clapped out

 

So, I’m at a loss to explain

Why I’m out here in the pouring rain

 

Now wait a moment that’s not right

It should be visible an LED light

 

Now that really is quite odd

It’s gone, some thieving little sod

 

Has stolen the bell push off the door

Light and all, to be seen no more

 

So, I don’t have a bell to ring

As someone’s stolen my dingaling

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 49

 

The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea

In a beautiful pea-green boat,

Though they were jolly, their expedition was folly

And the coast guard sent a life boat

So when the Owl and the Pussycat went to sea

Safely ashore we were able to see

Because the couples distress, the whole sorry mess

Was filmed by the BBC

AT THE ST PATRICK’S DAY PARTY

 

At the St Patrick’s Day party

A guy was playing the Ukulele

But he didn’t know when to stop

Until he was hit with a Shillelagh

ST PATRICK'S DAY PICK UP # 1

 

When you’re on the pull

If you want to break the ice

Say something funny

Or say something nice

Be complimentary

Or just lie in your endeavour

Be devastatingly witty

Or say something clever

“Do you have any Irish in you?”

Ask her, on St Patrick's Day

And if she answers yes, reply

“You can have some more today”

ON ST PATRICK’S DAY

 

On St Patrick’s Day

You know an Irish rover

Has had enough to drink

When they’re Dublin over

THE IRISH CELEBRATE ST PATRICKS DAY

 

The Irish celebrate St Patricks Day

And I have always wondered why

As they have three patron saints

Perhaps Patrick had a better PR guy