Tuesday, 4 January 2022

POSH AND BECKS LOOKALIKES

 

Posh and Becks lookalikes

Could be their twin

But they go by the name

Of Thick and Thin

TAKE IT EASY

Don’t rush to get there first

Take your time and stop

To shoot the breeze

And remember this simple fact

It’s the second mouse

That gets the cheese

CASH FOR DISHONOURS

 

Well after months of enquiries

We have the outcome we all expected

All the politicians are squeaky clean

And the police get all the blame

Guilty of wasting time and money

But they sit uncomfortably

Between a rock and a hard place

Criticized for acting or for doing nothing

The real villains of the piece

Are of course the CPS

That gutless bunch of future parliamentarians

Not wanting to rock the boat

By upsetting their political masters

WHAT DOES IT TAKE (rewrite)

 

Does it take the fuller figure?

To help you pull your trigger

Must they be pierced or tattooed

To make you come unglued

Or is it those who kiss and tell

You require to ring your bell

Does it take a vicars daughter

To help you start your motor

Or does it take a total bitch

To really flick your switch

Must they be chaste as a nun?

To help you shoot your gun

Perhaps its nurses on the ward

That actually pulls your cord

Or must they wear military attire?

To really light your fire

Is it lamb that’s really mutton?

You need to push your button

Should hips be slim and narrow?

To help you tip your barrow

Must they wear the briefest thong?

To make you bang your gong

Or does it take a large round bum?

To really bang your drum

Ought they dress in something tight?

To really light your light

Should they wear Mink or Stoat?

To help you float your boat

Must they act all prim and proper?

To help to pull your stopper

Ought they treat you with disdain?

To really yank your chain

Must they wiggle when they walk?

To make you pop your cork

Should their hair be long and flowing?

To get your whistle blowing

The truth is, unless I miss my guess

They need only answer yes

SENIOR FACT OF LIFE

 

Getting older is a fact of life

Even if not welcome at all

But if growing old is mandatory

Remember growing up is optional

Monday, 3 January 2022

TITAN’S

 

The powerful Titan’s

Giants of Greek Mythology

Born of Uranus and Gaea

Rulers of the earth

Brutally overthrown

By the Olympian Gods

ARE YOU WEARING A CRUCIFIX?

 

Are you wearing a crucifix?

Is it God’s grace you are appeasing?

Is it a symbol of your devotion?

Or is it just aesthetically pleasing

Are you a good Christian girl?

Or are you taunting and teasing

Well by that look in your eye

I think you’re up for a squeezing