I HAD A TERRIBLE NIGHTMARE LAST NIGHT

I had a terrible nightmare last night

Which really wasn’t very nice

Which left me thinking, what happens

If you get scared half to death twice?

LOVE BITTEN HALLOWEEN

 

From the first moment

On that memorable first day

When I laid eyes on the Wiccan

All that I can say

Is that I was left as helpless

As a vampire with tooth decay

WHEN A VAMPIRE BIT

 

When a Vampire bit

A Snowman one night

They both ended up

With a case of frostbite

THE THREE FOOT GHOSTS AND GHOULS

The three foot ghosts and ghouls

Roam the neighbourhood streets

Demanding candy with menaces

When tricks arise after no treats

ARE YOU WEARING A HALLOWEEN DRESS?

 

Are you wearing a Halloween Dress?

Well it’s really just a black shapeless thing

But I suppose it’s all right as it goes 

If I get to find out what’s under the thing

ALL-TIME CLASSIC MOVIE FAVOURITES – THE UNTOUCHABLES (1987)

 

“The Untouchables” is a Crime Drama, Written by David Mamet, suggested by a book by Oscar Fraley and Eliot Ness and Directed by Brian De Palma.

The story is set during the era of Prohibition in the United States, when legendary crime boss Al Capone (Robert De Niro) rules Chicago with an iron fist after building an empire with bootleg alcohol.

Prohibition Agent Eliot Ness (Kevin Costner) attempts to take Capone down, but due to widespread corruption within the Windy City's police force even his best efforts fail.

So because of the rampant corruption, he assembles an elite group of lawmen, a small hand-picked team who won't be swayed by bribes or fear, to help him, including Irish-American cop Jimmy Malone (Sean Connery), George Stone (Andy Garcia) and Oscar Wallace (Charles Martin Smith) and with his team in place Ness renewed his determination to bring Capone to justice.

A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE ……..

 

It was a terrifying moment when the world seemed to revert to slow motion, and I thank God for that because had it not I would have killed him.

I was on my way home in the early evening gloom of a December day, it was slow progress as it had been for months due to major road works and I had sat through two light change sequences before my journey finally got underway.

Well when I say “I was on my way home” I was actually on my way to pick up my wife Tina first which is why I was driving down Maybury Road.

It was a single track, one way street running parallel with the railway line from Sheerwater into Woking Town Centre which is heavily tree lined along the railway side and predominantly terraced housing on the other.

It’s quite a long stretch of road and runs as straight as an arrow and under normal circumstances such a stretch of road might tempt you into excessive speed.

However running on the left hand side of Maybury Road is a cycle lane and on the right intermittently  parked cars which narrow the road dramatically and this combined with very poor lighting and a significant number of side roads a cautious 20 to 25 mph was the order of the day.

So it was under the afore mentioned conditions that I proceeded along Maybury Road towards Woking Town centre.

I had just about reached halfway when I saw a well-equipped cyclist ahead of me in the cycle lane I slowed to 20 mph as I passed it, leaving as much room as was possible given the parked cars on the off side.

I safely passed the cyclist and was just beginning to think about increasing my speed but instead I took my foot off the gas as I neared the rear end of a parked Ford Transit van and just as I did so another cyclist appeared from the darkness heading straight for me.

He had been riding along the pavement when a number of pedestrian inconveniently blocked his path so he swerved out into the road and straight into my path.

He was dressed in dark clothing and the bike had no lights so he was almost invisible and I only spotted him at the very last second as the van had turned on his lights.

I slammed on the brakes and slewed the car sideways so my front end way blocking the cycle lane, fortunately the bike I had passed had not caught me up.

The whole incident took little more than a second yet seemed to run in slow motion, I think if it hadn’t I would have him.

Of course time didn’t really slow down it was just the way my brain processed it.

I missed hitting the hapless bike rider by the width of a bike wheel and we finished up with him sandwiched between me and the van.

But quite unperturbed he picked up his bike and wriggled between me and the van and was quickly on his way.

I on the other hand just sat where I had come to a stop with my heart pounding in my chest.

My hands gripping the steering wheel so tight my knuckles were white, and there I sat until I heard a tapping on my passenger door window

 

“Are you alright?” A muffled voice asked

I wound down the window

“Are you alright?” The voice asked again

It was the girl on the bike I had over taken a minute or so earlier

“Yes” I replied “it just took my breath away”

“Bloody idiot” she said

That’s a bit harsh I thought to myself I didn’t do anything wrong

“Its idiots like that that give us cyclists a bad name” she said indignantly

And she gave me a smile and was on her way.

Just at that moment the driver behind me sounded his horn which brought me out of my torpor and I drove off.

When I met Tina outside her building I got in the passenger side and let her drive.

I recounted the story of what had happened and then reflected on what might have been.

Had I not backed off the gas when I did, or had the van not turned on his lights when it did it may have been a tragedy rather than an anecdote.