My little wicked witch and I
Love to fly across the
night sky
And travel to special
places
Where no one knows our
faces
Where door with bolt
and lock
Ensures, Witch and
Warlock
Can scratch their
every itch
And a Warlock and a Witch
Can safely enjoy a
little sin
Without familiars listening in
There is a witch of whom I’m fond
Who could carry me off
beyond
And we’d do magic with
my wand
We would quaff her
special brew
Fly on a broomstick
made for two
And do things naughty
witches do
But alas our special
tandem flight
Full of wicked and
delicious delight
Is but a dream I dream
each night
Good friends are like the stars
Remember this if
you start to despair
You don't always
see them
I thank you
For your special friendship
And your many acts of kindness
Bless you
For your love and understanding
And your undying loyalty
I thank you
For being someone I can depend on
And for simply caring
Bless you
For picking me up when I’m down
And your capacity for sharing
Thank you
For being there when I need to cry
And when I want to laugh
Bless you
For being the hand that steadies me
And the foundation beneath me
Thank you
For being the air that helps me fly
And the net that catches me
Bless you
For your unwavering support
And for being my rock
I thank you
For your smile
I bless you
For your heart
I thank you
For your love
God bless you
For your friendship
Blessed are the cracked
You may think that not right
But the cracked are blessed
Life is like a roll of toilet paper
Take it from one who knows
The closer it gets to the end
Then the faster it goes
When everyone was having fun
In the holidays, poor lonely Harry
Had to return each time
To the bosom of the family Dursley
As he waited for word from Sirius
He was always at a lose end
All his school pals and teachers were busy
And his owl was his only friend
Hermione was getting a little ginger
Where the Weasley family dwell
Riding Ron like a nimbus
Until he screamed out “bloody hell”
While Neville was with young Ginny
Who grabbed his wand and made him faint
Madam Maxime was spanking Hagrid
And covering his genitals in paint
Professor McGonagall morphed into a cat
And curled up on Dumbledore’s lap
Malfoy wore Madam Pomfreys underwear
And played with his old chap
Seamus played with Cornish pixies
And goblin’s had a different meaning
Pomona Sprout had meat and two veg
As Wood gazed smiling at the ceiling
Unwanted Harry sat alone in his room
Pining for his young love Cho
And was finally forced to seek solace
Where the sad and the lonely go
He sought out the purveyors of sex
Looking for some company
At a place frequented by Filch and Snape
On a street called Ven Ally
But he contracted the vilest irritation
On his most intimate patch
After consorting with a cut price bludger
At a place called the “Golden snatch”
If he had not been so cheap
And not chosen a dirty little witch
He would have had his carnal pleasures
Without catching the dreaded quid itch
