WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU THE BIRD

If on occasion’s life gets you down

And things start to get on top of you

Just remember some days you're the pigeon

And some days you're the statue.

DRIVE CAREFULLY

Drive carefully on life’s highway

Please be careful out there

It's not only cars that get recalled

By their manufacturer

BAG MAN

 

Freezer bags are definitely male

As the leftovers end up inside them

And although they hold everything in

You can still see right through them

XEROX GIRL

 

The gender of a photo copier

Is distinctly female by definition

Because if you press the right buttons

They are effective at reproduction

But they are uncompromising

If you press the wrong button

And should you turn them off

It takes an age to turn them back on

ARE YOU WEARING TOE OF NEWT?

 

Are you wearing toe of newt?

Is it part of a witchy spell?

Is it the witchy version of GHB?

I’m so smitten I cannot tell

Uncanny Tales – (60) In a Fragrant Meadow

 

In a fragrant meadow in the Finchbottom Vale on a warm summer’s day a young man’s hands glide over her sumptuous curves and contours in a sensual exploration of her silken landscape.
Her flesh tingles beneath his skilful intimate touch and her breath starts to pant as her nipples swell in arousal standing in sharp relief as his lips and tongue pay court and he feels the glow of passion swell.

Sweet sensual moans join the soundtrack of the meadow as with nimble fingers he explored the seat of her musk and then like a bee who would visit a dewy rose he sips nectar from her moist blossom, each petal sensually caressed and he drinks deeply of her labial delights before in the sweet meadow grass his passion enters her portal of ecstasy.

ARE YOU WEARING A HALLOWEEN OUTFIT?

 

Are you wearing a Halloween outfit?

Well, you really do look good in it

And it doesn’t look risqué, not a bit

It’s a really cracking little outfit

Though all the emphasis is on the fit